I've been trying to think of something to post about for the past couple of weeks but haven't found myself in the 'mood' to blog - not to mention that I couldn't really think of something worthwhile to share. The past few weeks have been a whirlwind of events and emotions, chill time and non-chill hyper time, lots of coffee & cereal, hours spent hammocking (in my room), with lots of attempts (some successful, some not) at music making, and the whole "oh yeah I'm in college to get an education, but what am I really going to do with my life?"
I have no idea. And the stress of not knowing what the future holds seems to be on the minds of everyone I know here at Belmont... it's something everyone has - that whole "mid-college life crisis" thing. Today my dad came in town and asked me how things are going, jokingly adding the "You aren't in the sophomore slump, are you?" I didn't even give myself time to think of the question before I answered... immediately I began to list of things I was involved in to prove that I was spending my time wisely, even though I really have no idea what spending time "wisely" entails. Is it more important to cram for that test the next day, or spend time with the friends who will last you a lifetime instead of 3 credit hours one random semester? How about that movie at the Belcourt? Waste of time?
I think the conclusion that is beginning to take form in my mind is this... college is another four years of your life you get to spend "growing up" (as they say). Does anyone really go to it for the diploma? High school is a pre-mature version of college, as you still live with your parents. You go off to college - and life never seems as exciting as it does your freshman year. Everything and everyone is new (at least in my case where I ran off ten hours from home to a small private school), and you get to do whatever you want. Cafe Coco at 12 AM? Hell yeah.
Now that it's sophomore year, you've got everything down. Not so fresh like freshman year. Now that I'm knee-deep in college waters, I'd like to think I'm ready for more intentional conversations - meaning what you say, and saying things that have meaning... past the shallow get to know you's and small talk. Putting the "s'more" in the word "sophomore," instead of letting it become a slump.
Belmont has encouraged us to "Live a Better Story" this year. A couple weeks ago, Donald Miller (author of Blue Like Jazz and A Million Miles in a Thousand Years) spoke to the student body and everyone at the event was given an envelope with either a $5, $10, or $20 bill with the reminder that it was (and is) God's money. With the money was a short Bible study and instructions to multiply the money in some way to "Live a Better Story." Do I have any idea what I'm going to do? Nope. But I'm excited for this opportunity... what a cool way for Belmont to encourage the student body to be serve.
Right now, I'm feeling my feet drag a bit. I want to serve, but I don't know how, or when, or in what capacity it will be... I want to have more intentional conversations but find myself caught up in the drama of the day even when I don't want to be. It's okay. That's life. But the goal of this year? Live a better story... The encouragement? "Shun the cravings of youth, but pursue righteousness, faith, peace and love along with those who all on the Lord with a pure heart."