living now

I've been pretty bad at updating this blog weekly (which was my original goal at the beginning of the semester) mainly because 1) I haven't been making time for it and 2) I haven't thought of interesting things to blog about.

When this week came about (last week of school), it was my intention to blog a sort of "recap" on the whole year. Freshman year has definitely been a whirlwind and lots of things in my life have changed - but the idea of writing a 'recap' and how I've changed, etc, got me thinking... how much time do we spend dwelling on the past? That is, remembering the good times and trying to forget the bad?

Think about it. A lot of this here blog just recaps past events. I was going to recap my entire year in this post, but decided not to (maybe in a couple weeks when I have more time to think about it). We all post photo albums and comment on them. We quote inside jokes from the 'good times.' When we have nothing to talk about with friends, we ask them what they did that day or how their week has been.

At the same time, we try to block out all the bad memories. I just got a gig as a photographer for a camp this summer, and when I was talking to my mom, she said "Just don't tell them about that time you dropped the camera at the middle school dance!" Horrible memories rushed to my head. I had blocked that night from my mind, and when she brought it up, I remembered it vividly - dropping the school camera, bawling my eyes out, having to explain to my yearbook teacher what happened. I hated that I remembered it and never wanted to think about it again. Even now, when it doesn't seem like that big of a deal, I don't want to think about it.

I don't really know what to think about this whole concept - people always say to "live in the present" when so much of our lives depends on what we've already done. What if we started anew everyday?

Just food for thought.

x
anne