I've been pretty stressed out recently just thinking about the future and things I need to get figured out regarding the future so I can live in the present. But tonight, after getting a bit overwhelmed, I just started thinking about the past and everything I miss while I'm here in college - not that I don't love Belmont (in fact, I love Belmont, and you can probably tell that from all my other posts).
1. the warm texas heat. nashville, the first couple of snows were cool (it was only last week that I was saying I wouldn't mind another blanketing of snow), but now I'm getting a little bit miserable in the cold.
2. brent, austin, mom & dad. I talk to my parents a lot, which is good, but I only talk to my brothers occasionally. they're all in dallas. I'm here in nashville.
3. my grandparents. my grandma writes me letters all the time (I got two last week alone!) and I talk to them on the phone often, but it makes me just want to see them. I'm named after my grandma, and I'd love to be anything like her. she is probably the most warm-hearted, loving, optimistic and unselfish person I know.
4. europe. I got to travel there with 30 some-odd friends this past summer. I miss the places. I miss the people. we had a reunion over christmas break, which makes me miss them even more. I miss the gryffindors the most. just kidding. but seriously, we sorted all the to 30+ people into harry potter houses. we were that cool... okay, yeah, it was my idea.
5. video tech family. I worked rock showcase at belmont this last weekend and got to do camera-op, which was incredible, but it made me miss all the people I spent the last four years of high school with in classroom G209 edit rooms A-F. I miss mr. preston: the best teacher in the world. I miss working the film festival in dallas and talking to all the filmmakers who were working hard to get their films out there. I miss being able to go to all those screenings alone without feeling self conscious at all and talking to the strangers next to me in the theater.
6. good records & the polyphonic spree. owned/operated by the same people. i miss volunteering for the holiday extravaganza shows and dressing up as an elf. singing/shouting out of joy into the microphone. high-fiving the flautist.
7. trips to jenna's farm in mineola, texas. playing the alphabet game. four-wheelers. attempts at making scary movies. karaoke. line dancing. cornhole. roman candle wizard duels.
8. dora the explorer (my old car). I miss using a wrench to turn on the lights. I miss holding the stereo with my right arm so the CD wouldn't skip and driving with my left hand. I miss picking up karen for school while blasting polyphonic or eisley (depending on what phase I was going through). I miss driving to my horrible parking spot on the ramp going to no where junior year//backing into my horrible spot around the corner senior year (hoping every time I wouldn't get hit).
The list goes on and on... don't know why I felt the need to blog this. I guess one of my new years resolutions was to blog once a week, and while I haven't been blogging that regularly, this blog has been a good outlet for whenever I do need to get something out of my system... or feel like I have something to share that someone else might enjoy reading about. I don't know.
Blogs really are self-indulgent. Look at me! Read what I have to say about stuff! Blah blah blah blah. Same with twitter. Same with facebook. Except I feel like blogs require some more thinking. They are longer than the 140 character updates you post for @everyone to read (and hope that one of your "followers" will find entertaining or insightful). Unlike facebook, there isn't any kind of etiquette that you need to know... you can write whatever you like.
We are technology addicts. We are "social networking" addicts. I'm on facebook, twitter, linkedin, last.fm... list goes on and on. But none of those really require me to think. They are time wasters. They're fun, but I know that I don't get anything out of them.
I'm sorry this blog is really turning into a rant. It's more me being upset with me and how I'm spending my time. Unlike all those other sites, blogging does feel worth my time because writing is fun. I haven't really had to write much for school yet. That's why I started this little doodad: to have a reason to write and to have a place to organize my thoughts into sentences. This post isn't really organized at all and is a horrible example of that. In fact the majority of this post is grammatically incorrect.
Maybe it will be really hilarious to read this blog twenty years from now. But right now, I'd love to have something else to read. So, I'd encourage anyone still reading this post (doubtful) to start a blog and then promptly tell me where to find it. I want to read it. I probably love reading the blogs of people I know (and don't know) more than I love writing this crap. Which is what it is. Especially tonight. Crap.
p.s. maybe a facebook/twitter break is in order for lent. anyone want to commit to it with me?